Thursday, June 29, 2006

Social Interactions ...

What is the goal of social interactions ? Is it to make oneself happy ? Or others happy ? Or just to kill some time ... Why do making oneself happy and others happy so rarely intersect ? Is it possible to have a productive time socially ? Not just use someone else as a sounding board for ones ideas, but like how a toothed wheel and a chain can achieve more together as a gear, than they can individually ....

What about when there are 3 people, 4 people? Is it possible that all of them be content in a common interaction ? Or will there always be a tension of sorts .. someone slightly imposing his/her will on the others ...

And is it possible that all of them benifit from the interaction ?

Babaji once said that you should be able to cultivate the ability to live in solitude .. but is there any advantage of being with society ? For the soul ....

And on a small tangent, why do people enjoy so much at the expense of other people ? Why is fun always when someone else is uncomfortable ? Or the contrary, how can making someone else uncomfortable be fun ? I tried it, it sucks. I feel miserable if I make someone uncomfortable. Doesnt work. Even for small things, doesnt work.

There is this delicate art of teasing each other, socially I mean, to a point that is acceptable to a limit and the limit can be pushed based on the circumstances. But I never got what the limit was, how to find it, set it or push. Even when I pretend I am enjoying it, I am not. When there is nothing to talk to each other about, we should be able to enjoy silence or find something constructive to talk about. With a very few people, there always is something interesting to talk about. Most of the time, we are just filling silence with sounds and trying to enjoy the noise.

Destiny's Plaything

Friday, June 23, 2006

A moment with God

I should take more time everyday to have a moment with God. A moment of communion, to let his grace wash over me. A moment to set aside all my petty concerns and tiny victories and be a part of something so much bigger. A moment to love, and be loved; to own and be owned. A moment to say whatever I want, however I want and be perfectly understood; a moment to dwell in how trusted and how loved I am and how immortal is our relationship.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Beauty ...

Beauty is a reflection of the evolution of ones soul ... The things that we find beautiful tell us a lot about ourselves .. they tell us about our needs, aspirations, desires ...

I look for simplicity in life and to find an equilibrium with God, a God who adores my tinyness and can fit his magnificence in my little soul.

The most beautiful moment of my life was when I saw sailboats in the sea from a beach in Mangalore(India) about 10 years ago.
The sailboats, white and serene, seem to have an existance of their own, and are in perfect harmony with everything around them; the wind, the waves and all eternity.

The waves, the wind or the golden setting sun do not need the little sailboat for their existance .. nothing would change for them if the sailboat never was there; but somehow the sailboat is the center of their world, it brings out the beauty of the sky, of the sea and of the entire universe.
Like a little baby, who with his tiny toes and fingres, meaningless sounds and gurgles, gives a deep, surreal spiritual joy to the mother, an aspect of herself she was never aware of ...
Will a truly realized soul find beauty in all things in existance ? Can he see the beauty of God and Creation in a pig rolling in filth ? Does it inspire him with the same joy as a peacock dancing in the twilight ?

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Forever ....

Forever is a lot shorter than forever ..... When someone says something is forever they probably mean, "as long as I think this way".
Especially for things like I'll be your friend forever, or I'll trust you forever.... Mostly they means something like, as long as i feel this way :)

Things that really are forever are the things that never really were, like a friend you made on a train but never kept in touch, someone that you knew for a short time but then went apart ... memory of a rainbow all the way across the sky, a walk on a cool breezy evening, across the green forever fields ... sailboats far in the ocean, peaceful, surreal, eternal.

Dreams are forever too .. for as long as you want them.

These and the divine presence are the only thing forever. Everything else get's washed away in the huge tide of Time.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Sorrow or joy ..

Sorrow has a grace and beauty that joy can never measure up to. Joy is flippant and youthful, a pretty cute thing; sorrow is deep and mature. Joy brings unstability, a transient state, something that will eventually be lost ... Sorrow on the other hand has hope in it .. a road to everlasting peace ...
Like the songs of Mukhesh, sorrow touches deep down in the soul, a place that joy can never reach or keep ...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Give up for the sake of true love ...

Deep love somehow expects you to giveup something for it ... It's almost like the beloved is measuring the love by how much or how little you can give up ... Parents expect you to give up something .. people close to you expect you to give up something else .. friends expect you to give up some thing .. even God wants you to give up the whole world for Him. If he loves you less he gives you less to give up for him, but for his favourite devotees, he gives them all the riches in the world, for them to give up and go to him ...
What's with this giving up ? Is it good for the soul? Like fasting ... Does it mean that the more you can give up the more you love. or vice versa .. People go to Kashi and give up their favourite food .. Is Vishwanatha more pleased ? If I give up two or three favourite foods will I achieve immortality faster ? Do people get a sort of gratification by giving up stuff .. Like, look lord I love you so much I gave up brinjal for you. Look lord, I love you so much, I gave up mangoes for you. What an ego boost ! What do these people do when they want some mangoes? Do they never ever want mangoes ever again in their lives ? Do they fear punishment from God if they eat mangoes ? Do they love God just as much after giving up ?
Can I forgive a God that made me, made these wonderful things, made me want them, and finally somehow put the thought in my mind that I should give it up. Do I love you lord as much after all this ?

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Beneath the surface ....

At the surface of our conciousness ... the upper most thoughts in the mind ... are the day to day happenings .. whom i spoke to yesterday, what i thought about the food i ate, how i would like do my project or what i would like happening in my life... some of these are real, some of these are wishes or fantasies, but they are strongly influenced by perspective. What I feel about the same incident will be different from what my friend feels about it ...
A little below the surface are our values, what we've been taught as children, our concepts of good and bad or right and wrong. The uppermost thoughts change ever so often, what is critical to me today will be a thing of the past tomorrow. This next level of thoughts however, does not change very often ... And they are sort of similar between people between races and cultures .. nationalities and era's. In our own lives, they dont change so much with time ..

I can trace some of the things that I strongly believe in, like my concept of God for e.g. to a very young age. I have added to that core, gone from a little truth to a little bigger truth, from a narrow perspective to a little broader perspective but I dont think my perception of the concept essentially changed ....

The important question however is, what is below this level. If my whole concept of self is built sort of in layers .. what is below this layer of ideas and values? What is that which is more underneath my concept of God, my idea of truth ? What is that core of me ? Can I percieve it somehow ? If I cannot, then how am I to learn about it ? Is the mind a good tool to learn about it? Or the heart? Do I read books? Meet people? Live in seclusion for a while?

All these philosophers, Aurobindo, M. Govindan, Vivekananda, Krishna in Bhagawat Geeta .. all these guys say so much stuff. How do I validate these ?

Monday, June 12, 2006

A bug in the shower

Karuna is an ancient word that could approximately mean compassion. Most Indians would know the word, but then it also means something slightly different in different vernaculars so the meanings of our vernacular languages might be different from the original word. I think it means compassion and love and causeless mercy.

Yesterday there was a bug in the shower. It was a creepy and weird looking bug. Tiny hairy bug, real gross. When I turned on the shower, it wriggled out of the water's way and moved to a safe area in the side of the tub. But then there was more water and it looked like the bug might drown. He started panicking and wriggled hard to move away. One time he slipped and fell back in the water. I really got freaked out and shut off the shower and waited for the bug to go. But the bug was stupid. He thought the danger was done and was just lying in the shower right in the water's way. So here I was with shampoo in my hair ( a little on the way to my eyes) waiting for the stupid bug to get out.
Did I feel compassion for the bug ? A little, at least initially. But I had to get out of there sometime .... After a while I turned on the shower still a little freaked out watching if the bug would drown. There was also an element of disgust here; I dint want any creepy bug on me! Finally, I just sort of showered, and got out of there.
While I waiting for the bug to move, I was thinking of Jains. How they dont wear shoes so that they dont accidentally kill many creatures and how they cover their mouth's with cloth for similar reasons.
Vegetarianism is a kind of compassion, but then there is always this argument that even plants have feeling ( here they quote JC Bose and his experiments, may his soul rest in peace! .. it's tiring how all human minds think alike ...). Is killing a plant more compassionate than killing an animal ? Is killing an animal more compassionate than say killing a person ? And how much personal suffering will we go through to be compassionate.
Civilization is full of examples of compassionate people .. our very own Mother Teresa, compassion personified ... but in my own life how much compassion do I show ? Causeless, selfless compassion. Like the kind they teach us in primary school. In moral science class. Compassion to strangers. As an offering to God. A way to say I love you! And want to be like you :)

P.S. Guys .. please dont post comments like keep ur shower clean etc. Please .. please :)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

What is the really important things in life ?

what is it?
is it doing good research ? is it having a satisfying job ? is it having good variety of things to do ?
is it really helping the poor and needy ? is it really or they just say so ? who are these needy ? how can i help them ? what help do they need ? how will it make a difference to them or me or to anyone in the universe ?

is it renouncing the world ?

is it living in anonymity, alone, in the crowd?

is it hanging around with people all the time, sitting around having a good time, watching movies, doing about 4-5 hours of work a day ? is it slogging for hours together in pursuit of something pure and real ? is it living like edison, testing a million combinations of metals till you find the right one to make the filament of the bulb? is it living like enstien or plato, thinking deep meaningful thoughts all the time, thoughts that are substantially different from those of people around you? is it living like ramakrishna paramahamsa with the divine, for the divine, off the divine? like swami vivekananda ? inspiring the youth of the nation and the philosophers of the world?
what is the really important one thing in my life that IS. what is that one thing if i do, i need to do no more.


Carz is really nice. Worthy of a pixar. Me, moti and vikram went. For a change we went to a cinema in long island and not manhattan. Reminded me of a cute village :) corvallis?
enjoyed the movie. the pizza there is good too. also i found out why people shift down to rev up the vehicle !

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Ramgopal Verma's Sarkar

I just saw Sarkar for the second time. It's a beautiful adaptation of Godfather to the Indian scenario. Each character form Godfather is perfectly Indianised. I felt no frustration for RamGopal Verma deviating from the book. And it is not an English movie re-made in hindi. I am proud of the movie and proud of Indian cinema. Generally speaking it's a pleasure to see Amitabh these days. He's finally got over the angry young man thinggy where all the director could get out of him were long shots in a low light to make up for the lack of expression on his face! And Abhishek Bachchan is a good. I especially liked the part when he is about to be killed. The fear of death on the face of a man ....

The only little quirk is, how did he put a nandi in front of a Muruga temple ? I rechecked twice to confirm that. How could a southindian make that mistake :(